GREENVILLE, S.C. -- Do you travel too often or for long periods? Do you spend countless nights on the road? Do you consider yourself a member of the Too-Frequent Traveler Club?
If your answers are yes, yes, and yes, maybe it's time to take a break from travel, cut it out of your schedule, get it out of your blood.
Now, through surgical techniques developed by Dr. Ronald Yeabetz in association with the Royal University Hospital in Sydney, Err Travel offers an in-patient procedure that can get travel out of your blood — literally. So if you suffer from more than a few of the excessive travel symptoms listed below, maybe it's time for a travelectomy.
- You have accumulated enough frequent-flyer miles to fly to Jupiter and back — twice.
- You have enough shampoo, single-serving coffee packets, sewing kits and ball point pens to take you into the next century.
- You have forgotten how to put gas in your own car.
- You know the three-letter airport codes for more than 250 airports.
- You can't get the Willie Nelson tune, On the Road Again, out of your head.
- When you come home, your dog snarls and barks at you, and won't let you into your house.
- Credit card companies have replaced your gold and platinum cards with plutonium cards.
- Your kids refer to you as "that person with the suitcases." (Worse, they’ve started calling call the mailman "Pop" and the nanny "Mom.")
- Your company has converted your office to a conference room, eliminated your name from the phone directory and reassigned your parking spot to the guy from the mail room.
- You can only find your way to your kids soccer game is to start back at the airport.
- You feel more comfortable eating off an airline tray-table than from your own dining room table.
Travelectomies are coordinated through and performed by certified members of the National Institute of Cosmetic Engineers And Somatic Surgeons (NICEASS) on a first-come first-served basis at one of their spa locations.