Portrayal of lawyers described as "cold-blooded"
CHICAGO, Ill. -- In a press conference held here today, Samuel Federsteen, Executive Director of the United States Bar Association (USBA), released a statement saying that his organization is taking legal action against the producers and distributors of Snakes on a Plane.
In the statement, Federsteen stated, "The portrayal of traveling lawyers as snakes is an absurdity that that does little to build trust in the legal profession, enhance our image or boost our income. The reputations of the USBA and its members have been seriously damaged by depicting attorneys as emotionless, callous, cold-blooded and even dangerous. Therefore the USBA is filing petitions with the attorneys general in all 50 states to prohibit any further distribution or presentation of Snakes on a Plane until or unless its producers can show evidence that viewing the movie does not adversely influence the attitudes of those viewers toward attorneys."
When someone from the press corps pointed out that the antagonists in the movie really were snakes, Federsteen responded, 'Well... ah... that doesn't make a bit of difference because the damage has already been done."
According to a source at the USBA, on August 18, 2006, the very same day that Snakes on a Plane was released for showing in movie theaters nationwide, over 12,000 lawyers were flying to Scottsdale, Ariz. for the Annual USBA Convention and Exposition. Although the vast majority of attendees arrived by private or corporate jet, many members complained that it was no coincidence that the same day so many lawyers were air passengers, Snakes on a Plane hit the big screens across the country. "To the USBA leadership," said the source, "the implication was obvious."
Indeed Mr. Roger Serpentes, who delivered the keynote address on "The Three I's of Legal Practice: Income, Integrity and Income" at the Convention and Exposition, became so upset upon learning of the movie's release that, according to his publicist, "his blood ran cold" during his presentation.
In a related story, Ambol, Lance and Chasser, the USBA's public relations firm, issued a press release that the organization is in talks with Joe Francis to produce a documentary film titled Lawyers Gone Wild.