Firm hopes to clean up with private lavs

The rich now have more places to "go"

SAN DIEGO, Calif. -- For years, individuals of means have been able to enjoy membership in private resorts, private country clubs, private lakes, private airports, private ski areas, even private cross-country heliowraping. Now the wealthy are purchasing memberships in the newest must-have amenities: private lavatories.

These facilities, which have been popular in Japan for years, are now making their way to Europe and North America and have been causing quite a stir among the affluent as well as among wall street analysts.

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Geraldine LaMeux, senior vice president for hygiene investments for the financial firm of Avarice Funds, told Err Travel, "We see the private lavatory business as having great upside potential and being both inflation- and recession-proof. We are recommending it as a 'strong buy' to our clients."

Private lavatories have begun appearing in airports in Europe under the "Blue Loogoon" banner and will be showing up in North America beginning early next year. Unlike those in Europe, however, the first private lavatories to be installed here will be along the Interstate highway system.

According to Pee Ditty, ex-rapper and spokesperson for Sweet Pee International (SPI), the largest private lavatory company operating in the U.S., "Market research showed us that potential SPI members were most concerned with having to find themselves in need of a restroom facility while driving on the open road, where they would have to share public restrooms with... well, with the public. Toward that end, we have developed the Sweet Pee Personal Comfort Station."

Literature obtained from SPI notes, "For the safety, security and discretion of our members, Sweet Pee Personal Comfort Station facilities are often disguised as rows of stored portable toilets. When a member approaches an entrance, the locations of which are communicated secretly to each member, an iris scanner verifies his or her identity, whereupon a faux panel slides out of the way allowing the member access to the facility. The member is then escorted by a personal concierge to a private chamber.

Once inside, each Personal Comfort Station features:

  • A private compartment (150 square feet) with individual climate controls
  • Indirect, reflexive lighting that varies to match or to change the mood of the occupant
  • A multi-head (13 nozzle) shower
  • A deep (48 inch) spa tub with sonic vibrator
  • Super-soft™ oxygen infused, conditioned water
  • Windvane® Air-Thrust™ jet drying turbo fans with conditioning injectors
  • Height adjustable commodes (2) with heated and cooled, padded seats
  • WiFi, telephone and cable access
  • Stereo radio with iPod input
  • High-definition television (74 inch) and DVD player


For an additional yearly fee, members can phone ahead for reservations. Then when they arrive, their Personal Comfort Station will have been prepared to include a selection of preferred coffees and/or teas, a mixture of their favorite CDs and DVDs, their preferences of bath soaps and oils, and daily newspapers of their choice.

According to Ditty, SPI is signing up members at a better than expected rate and will soon introduce a frequent user program similar to the one in France called "LaTrine." Information about the program will be released in the next few months.

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