Vermont re-routes all motor traffic

"Vote left but look right" campaign gains momentum

MONTPELIER, Vt. -- In a joint news release, The U.S. and the Vermont Departments of Transportation announced that Vermont has changed its motor vehicle code to become the first and only state in the nation to require vehicles be driven on the left sides of roads, streets, highways, and other thoroughfares.

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The surprise move, which was enacted overnight through gubernatorial executive order, is intended to add much needed revenue dollars to the coffers of the Green Mountain State and at the same time shore up America's frosty relations with the U.K.

The idea for the change came about as the result of a U.S. government sponsored survey completed recently in England. The survey showed that British tourists avoid traveling to the U.S. for three reasons: (1) They are off-put by bright colors (2) they have no access to Wimpy Benders, and (3) vehicles in the U.S. travel on the "wrong side of the carriageway."

Since the survey results became known to the administration this past year, White House staffers have been working behind the scenes to overcome these impediments. Shirley Fresnel, a spokesperson for the White House said, "Donna Karan has introduced her new Johnny Cash Collection and Burger King has agreed to remove as much taste as possible from its Whopper. So this bold move in Vermont has now cleared the way for what is expected to be a wave a British tourists to the U.S."

The state of Vermont was approached with the idea to re-route traffic because it is closer to Britain than most other states of the union, it is relatively sparsely populated, there are no highway billboards that need to be repositioned, and because Vermonters are known for their natural leftist tendencies anyway.

Motorists in downtown Burlington seem to be adapting well to the new driving patterns while there are still problems occurring outside the urban areas. 

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