News


Airports

Airports to remove most restroom sinks -- Measure to save $38 million a year in U.S. alone
Hooter's enters airport security business-- Effectiveness of T&A pat-downs questioned
O'Hare Airport may be renamed -- Facility bucks corporate branding trend
Passenger sues TSA over "instant" sex change-- Agency blames malfunctioning X-ray scanner
San Francisco International Airport to be feng shui compliant -- Runways will be realigned
TSA makes shoes "optional" -- Shirts and shorts are still required

Airlines

Air Force One to enter charter service -- Harrison Ford may be signed as spokesperson
Airbus to build seven story airliner -- Passengers will have choice of restaurants and theatres
Airline passengers to fly in trailer -- Up to 148 passengers can be towed
Airline pilots win right to fly into old age -- Mandatory retirement age upped to 87
Airline removes seats to cut costs-- Portable chairs now available in airports
Airline to introduce "selective-width" seating -- Larger passengers can expect to pay more
Airline to replace oxygen masks with pistols -- Vigilante Airway will fly "locked and loaded"
Airlines add reptile meals on domestic flights -- "Tastes just like chicken"
Airlines to reverse global warming -- Planes will become major sources of atmospheric cooling
Airplane lavatories to disappear -- Micturition prohibition
AstroSphere Airways auctioning airplane on eBay -- What would Jesus fly?
Cell phone use on airplanes could start soon -- Only "some" avionics may be disabled
Company to introduce "flying luggage" -- New bags to improve airplane fuel efficiency and safety
Expiration dates to be displayed on airliners -- FAA rule will take effect next month
FAA approves short, targeted, pre-flight briefings -- Hello. Buckle up. No smoking. Adios.
Getting comfortable at 30,000 feet for 15 hours -- Learning to sleep while standing
Hundreds of airline passengers disappear annually -- Many reappear near Afghanistan
NRA purchases Monument Airlines -- "AiRifle" will require guns on board
Nude travel takes off -- Airline bullish on bare service
Pilots win right to carry AK-47s -- Fitting missiles to planes may be next
Republicans enter airline business -- JetRed to take off next month
Ronco to purchase AstroSphere Airways -- Passengers receive Rocket Fisherman
Texas to get first non-fat airline -- The pudgy will be prohibited
United Person Service to begin operations -- First class personnel shipping crates are next
WienAir to take flight -- Airline to offer middle-only seating

Auto and Rail

Daimler to build first "fitness" car -- Fitness Phaeton designed for corporate travelers
NASCAR enters car rental business -- Fast cars and steep fees
Rail service between California and Hawaii to begin in two years -- Trains traveling at 380 MPH
Vermont re-routes all motor traffic -- "Vote left but look right" campaign gains momentum

Cruising

Caribbean cruise line throws luggage overboard -- Caribbean Caddy Service is launched
Cruise line switches to nude Caribbean cruises -- Limbo contests phased out
Cruise line introduces first hybrid powered ship -- Twice as far, twice as fast, half the cost
First Extreme-Ultra-Mega cruise ship launched -- Ship will carry more than 17,000 passengers

Destinations

Bar Harbor to change name -- New name will reflect local dialect
Celebrities bed down hotel guests in Las Vegas -- Paris Hilton cruising Strip hotels
Company wins FDA approval to distribute LSD -- Travel without leaving the farm
DHS agents abandon search for Martians -- Hundreds recalled from Roswell
Florida businesses to prohibit topless clientele -- Bottomless behavior not addressed
Floridians have sinking feelings -- State may require visitors to bring dirt
GangstaLand set to open near Orlando -- More T-shirt shops expected on International Drive
Greenpeace to open Las Vegas casino -- From sea-going to limo-riding whales
Kansas rescinds Daylight Saving Time -- Sunflower State reverts to "God's Time"
Las Vegas to add two million hotel rooms -- "Las Vegas Strip will become irrelevant"
Las Vegas to become a vast lake -- The Strip seen as a bass-fishing destination
Mexico finalizes deal to sell Yucatan to Canada -- Hockey sticks of Mesquite?
Paraskevidekatriaphobia hammers travel business... Except at Wally's
Polygamist town to build tourist center -- Colorado City, to have first Beds & Breakfast
Taj Mahal purposely being tilted -- Eiffel Tower may be next landmark to be skewed
Thomas Kinkade opens tour company -- First "Tour of Light" planned for New York
Tour company offers holidays priced from €39 -- A few restrictions apply
Vegas "Strip" goes mainstream -- Businesses find that less may get them more
Vegas World to open near Disney ... and Orlando World to open in Vegas

Lodging

Airplanes to house prisoners -- Jets for joints
DHS to bug U.S. hotels -- Plot to kidnap Paris Hilton foiled
Hotel chain will reduce overhead by reducing headroom -- Savings to be in the millions
Hotel group to rate service stations -- Flushing out fragrant violations of restroom standards
Hotel rolls out Frequent Inactive Traveller (FIT) Programme -- Emperor bed an option
Inn-terpreter coming to the States -- Device makes it possible to understand hotel staff
La Couvier Hotels to charge for "amenities" -- One option: Bring your own sheets
Paris Hilton to be added to Paris Hiltons -- Marriott poised to enter celebrity branding
Prison system to offer corporate lodging -- Kind of a "get acquainted offer"
Traveller Hotel Group eliminates all room rates -- Free rooms expected to return record profits
Traveller Hotel Group takes aim at in-room insects -- Assassins employed to terminate bugs

Products and Services

Agentes out-horrifies Turistas -- Agentes makes Turistas look like a tourist commercial
Butt lift surgery gets a boost -- Gluteal augmentation business is firming up
Cell phone company offers comfort and reassurance ... for a fee
Company expects to clean up with private lavatories -- The rich now have more places to "go"
Diners Club to introduce "Plutonium Card" -- Charge card competition gets "extreme"
Erhart Verner forms support group for travelers -- Six million join in first month
Err Travel to offer doofus insurance -- Joint venture with Lloyd of London
Err Travel University begins instruction -- Institution offers degrees to travelers
Law firm to open in-airport offices -- "Ambulances will be chasing us"
Lawyers file injunction against Snakes on a Plane -- Lawyers described as "cold-blooded"
Thousand dollar socks are latest travel necessity -- Hip hosiery for well-heeled travelers

Advice


Business

From office pool to resort pool -- Juggling the work-play combo
Taking the team on the road -- Another opportunity for the boss
Traveling with the boss -- It could be your ticket up (or down) the corporate ladder

Coping

Delay procrastinating -- Or wait 'til tomorrow
Here's looking at you -- Your secret powers
How embarrassing -- Oops, sorry, excuse me
Never shake hands with a traveling man -- You won't find this advice in any travel guide
Save me a seat -- Don't take seat-saving behavior sitting down
Something to talk about -- Striking up a conversation with a seatmate
Space invaders -- Defend your personal space
Stress free(er) travel -- Manage what you can
Terry's Top Twelve Travel Tips -- Who will manage your safety?
Use travel as a mental exercise -- Build your cognitive reserve
Want better service? -- Be a better customer

Entertainment

Strip club protocol -- Behave like a gentleman in a gentlemen's club

Lodging

Check-in check list -- Before I get settled, I check fire safety and plan my escape
Don't get burned -- How to survive a hotel fire
Fire! Fire! Fire! -- Forget about "evacuation management"
Hot hotels -- They asked about fire sprinklers, not lawn sprinklers
When the heat is on -- Do you have a plan?
You can call me Al -- Hotel guest recognition programs can be dangerous

Products

Six must-carry travel items -- (Okay, maybe seven)

Transportation

Air rage remedies -- In the company of whacked-out passengers
Purloining passengers -- Avoiding cabin thievery
Rent-a-victim -- Car rental counter is a dangerous place
Run like hell -- Leave junior in the car and haul ass

Vacationing

A California wine country primer -- Learn and enjoy
Five best activities on Kauai—for two bucks or less -- But you better hurry
Get ready for travel abroad -- Travel Tips 101: International Edition
Get the most from your theme park visit -- A dozen ways to get your money's worth
Parasites in paradise -- I mix my own brand of criminal repellent
Prevent packing on vacation pounds -- The skinny on travel and diet
Safe summer -- Protect your home while you're on vacation
Where's Fido? -- Look out for dognappers while on vacation

Uncommon

Travel safety expert -- Questionable advice
Travel tips for doofuses -- A primer for the primitive
Witless passenger behavior -- A primer for dolts, nitwits and nincompoops

Commentary



Coping

Line dancing -- Psychology of queuing
Occupation revelation -- There are worse jobs than mine
Famous travel quotations -- Words of the road remembered
What were you expecting? -- Travel is wonderful... or so you should believe
American softies -- Traveling wimps
Crime time -- Summer is when travelers become victims
Traveling too much? -- Maybe it's time for a travelectomy
Hope for the best -- Expect otherwise
There ought to be a law -- Actually there is
Travel Rage Institute is founded -- Calm down, mellow out, feel better

Destinations

Destination: cash register -- America's travel hot spots
Hawaii is a dangerous place -- Vacation at your peril
Je ne sais quoi -- Give me back Andy and Fran
Vocation vacations -- Mixing work with a final summer trip

Entertainment

And the winner for best travel song is.... -- The Grammys put right
Toons terrify tots -- Cartoons may return serenity to travel

Lodging

Open letter to Mr. Kevin Kowalski, Crowne Plaza Hotels & Resorts -- Don't wait up for me

Products

Bidet mayday -- Traveling down under
Can your company hear me now? -- Cell phones can put your company at risk
Combo deals -- Products that travelers can really use
Lugging home a large-scale purchase -- A three ton buy
Mirror, mirror on the stall -- Clearly the way to go
Travel products best left at home -- Heavier luggage and a lighter wallet

Transportation (mostly air travel)

Berrly flying -- A part of nude history
Common passenger disorders -- Therapy might work
Crime's been workin' on the railroad -- The danger is incredible
Dead err -- Why airline passengers never die in flight
Err-phemisms -- Interpreting airline safety briefings
Flying on my terms -- Air travel glossary
Portly passengers -- Pay by the pound