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Dead err
Why airline passengers never die in flight
First there was the email I got from Charles Hullett, a frequent traveler from Nebraska. Charles was sitting next to a retired United Airlines exec on a flight to Florida when the guy up and kicks the bucket. The following week Charles inquired about the event as he checked in for his return flight.
In Charles’ words: "I ask the customer service agent about the guy I was sitting next to who died. 'Oh, he didn't die. He was stabilized on the jetway, but died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital.' My ass he was stable. He was stable because he was DEAD! You can't get much more stable than that!"
No, Charles, you can’t.
Next I read about a Canadian family that sat next to a critically ill passenger who "checked out" during a five-hour flight from the Marshall Islands to Honolulu. The Vancouver Province reported one of the family members saying that the family "got to see him choking and gagging and frothing and everything. And his leg kept coming out into the aisle beside me. We were trying to push it back in so the food cart wouldn't run over it." (I suppose you wouldn’t want to miss the chicken dinner just because the guy next to you was choking, gagging, and frothing. — Ed.) "[The airline] just sort of propped him up with a pillow under his head and tucked him in like he was having a nap."
following these reports, I awoke to a radio broadcast about a woman—I think her name was Vera Anderson—who dreamed of traveling. She never did. But now that she’s dead, she is… well, how would you say it?… "dying" her dream. Seems that her relatives have divvied up her ashes and are sending them to all 50 U.S. states so she can have a postmortal look 'round.
Now all this got me thinking about the chances that on my next flight I could wind up with a seatmate who will move to the great departure lounge in the sky before we reach our earthly destination. Though I’d love to have ol’ Vera as a companion—she wouldn’t hog the armrest or want to chat too much—is there really much chance of that happening? Well the Aviation Health Institute estimates that in 1998, for instance, about 1000 people died in their seats while flying. That compares with 730 people who died in crashes.
That seems like a lot of stiffs to be flying around. So I surveyed flight attendants about what they do if and when a passenger makes the BIG Departure.
The answer I got at first puzzled me. I was told over and over that the airlines had no procedures for handling dead passengers because no passengers go to their great reward while on board.
Huh? How can this be?
A particularly helpful United Airlines flight attendant guided me in understand this apparent contradiction. First, death requires declaration of that state by a physician, and no doc worth his malpractice insurance premiums is going to pronounce a passenger dead on an airplane. (Real, real sick maybe, but not dead.) So what happens is that instead of passengers becoming "Dead In Flight" on an airplane, they end up DOA at a hospital (like Charles' companion).
The other issue, of course, is that if somebody really does die in flight, there would likely be an investigation of the death. That would cause a delay of departure for the following flight of the aircraft.
Talk about a tragedy!
Related Err Travel columns
Airline pilots win right to fly into old age -- Mandatory retirement age upped to 87
Expiration dates to be displayed on airliners -- FAA rule will take effect next month
Agentes out-horrifies Turistas -- Agentes makes Turistas look like a tourist commercial
Toons terrify tots -- Cartoons may return serenity to travel
Crime's been workin' on the railroad -- The danger is incredible
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