|
8 February 2006
How embarrassing
Oops, sorry, excuse me
By Terry Riley
 Traveling provides the opportunity to experience many things, including
embarrassment. Oh boy, does it.
Like the time I traveled all day in a new shirt with the sales tag hanging
from the sleeve. Or the time I barged in on a fellow passenger in the
airplane lavatory. Or the time I ranted and raved at a hotel clerk about a
lost reservation before realizing that I was at the wrong hotel. Or when I
walked in on a couple in a hotel room who were—how shall I put
this?—getting in some extra sack time. Indeed, my list of embarrassing
moments seems to get longer every few trips.
Like you, I find moments such as these only add to the stresses of travel.
Yet according to Dr. David Allyn, author of I Can't Believe I Just Did
That, embarrassment is a perfectly normal response that is both
appropriate and useful. “It’s a natural reaction to a situation where a
societal rule has been broken,” he says. Indeed, there is nothing wrong
with embarrassment at all. It just underscores our human nature.
Human nature or not, embarrassment can be… well, embarrassing. So what can
you do about it?
You can’t avoid embarrassment altogether, but you can improve your chances
of dodging some uneasy incidents by taking a few precautions. Here are the
ones I practice—all drawn from the edifying lessons of experience.
Confirm reservations
When you make reservations for a ride, a room or a meal, you may well be
dealing with an underpaid, poorly trained and unmotivated employee who
will not even be on the payroll by the time you show up for your ride,
room or meal. It’s best to make sure that your reservation is still on the
books before you arrive to claim it.
Double-check locations
It was only when I arrived at the airline departure gate for my return
flight that I discovered that my ticket was for a San Francisco area
airport. I was on my way, like it or not, to San Jose. Unfortunately, my
car was in San Francisco. I had just learned another lesson to file with
the ones about “downtown, “midtown” and “city center” hotel locations.
Carry spares
If you have a history of minor travel-related calamities, pack along some
extra items that can get you out of your fix. If you tend to snag your
pants, dribble on your blouse or are prone to paper cuts, a needle and
thread, a spare top or extra bandages can prevent things from becoming
worse.
Announce your arrival
A knock on the door or a loud voice preceding your entry into an
unpredictable situation gives potential embarrassees an opportunity to
head off an awkward moment.
Enter slowly
Maybe a soon-to-be embarrassee is, well, too embarrassed to respond to a
polite knock on the door. Or maybe he thinks that the knocker will go away
if no reply is forthcoming. Or maybe he just doesn’t hear the knock. In
any case, proceed with caution.
Use every lock available
Locks are useful for keeping out bad guys, but they can also keep you out
of embarrassing situations—like having your underwear fly out of your
overnighter, or having an addled guest barge in on you while you’re
brushing your teeth (or worse). A locked suitcase won’t prevent it from
being stolen, and a flimsy chain lock will do little to discourage a
determined criminal, but both can prevent some awkward moments.
These suggestions may help you avoid some embarrassment, but you’re almost
guaranteed to find yourself in an embarrassing situation sooner or later.
For these awkward moments, Dr. Allyn offers some pointers.
First, he says, acknowledge your faux pas. Offer a brief apology. Keep it
short and simple, otherwise you will prolong the embarrassing moment.
“Oops,” “Sorry” or “Excuse me” can be enough.
Next, he suggests saying something like, “Have you ever done something
like this?” The question takes the attention off you, which dissipates
everyone’s embarrassment. Revealing your “human side” can even open up
more meaningful dialog with those around you.
Avoid losing your temper, both with yourself and with others. Uncontrolled
behavior is just another thing you will have to be embarrassed about.
Finally, if you want to help another person get past an embarrassing
moment, mention that you have found yourself in a similar situation. A
light touch on the person’s arm will provide some reassurance and comfort
as well.
Oh, and if you see a guy passing through an airport with a sales tag
hanging from his sleeve, don’t be embarrassed to come over and say, “Hi.”
© 2006 Applied Psychology
Related Err Travel columns
Travel tips for doofuses - A primer for the
primitive
Strip club protocol - Behave like a gentleman in
a gentlemen's club
... and from Travel Fox:
Travel Fox to
offer doofus insurance - Joint venture with Lloyd of London
|
|
