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10 August 2005
Never shake hands with a traveling man
You won't find this advice in any travel guide
By Terry Riley
 There
is a particular, self-satisfying activity in which I indulge when I'm
traveling. In fact, I do it a lot—maybe even more than when I'm at home.
I don't deny it, and what's more, I'm sure I'm not alone in doing it.
My gosh, there have even been occasions when I've witnessed other men
doing it—not that I've been looking, of course. Indeed, my bet is that
most men do it when they travel by themselves. In fact, I'll go out on a
limb here and say that all men do it when they travel.
So all us guys do it when traveling, but it is never mentioned by
travel agents and never, ever written about by travel writers ... until
now. But the cat—or whatever you want to call it—is about to be let out of
the bag.
Here goes: When we travel, we micturate.* I know of men who have
micturated in airports, in train stations, in convention centers and, of
course, in their hotel rooms. I personally have micturated on airplanes,
trains and even boats. There, I've said it.
Now that this is out in the open, I want to turn your attention to
what goes on—or, more correctly, what doesn't go on—after male
travelers micturate. In the utterly unscientific field research I've
conducted on this topic in airport restrooms over many years of travel,
two significant facts have come to light. First, about half of the men I
observed micturating went straight from the urinals to the exits. They
didn't stop to wash their hands, though some did pause to straighten their
shirts or to comb over their swoops.
To me, this finding is astounding. Didn't these guys learn anything
in grammar school? Mrs. Moore must have told us a million times in second
grade, "Wash your hands after visiting the restroom." (What she never told
us is why she referred to it as "visiting," as though we were on some kind
of vacation when we were in there.) Either these guys in the airports
never went to grammar school or they believe that washing their hands
after a trip to the john is somehow unmanly. I don't see it as unmanly,
but I do see it as unsanitary—not to mention gross.
At best, the conditions of sanitation in public restrooms are
uncertain. At worst, they are perilous. Think of restrooms as life-size
petri dishes providing room and board for all kinds of icky
microorganisms. Uncouthness aside, not washing your hands frequently while
traveling is one of the surest ways to catch some bug. And there are
probably no greater bug population densities than can be found in public
restrooms.
The lesson from my research, then, is clear: Micturate, wash up, and
don't shake hands with a traveling man. (Except me. I wash.)
Oh, I almost forgot the other significant fact that came from my
airport restroom research: I was never hauled in for questioning by the
airport police regarding my behavior of watching what other men were doing
while "visiting the restroom."
* Micturate (def.) = to urinate. Also: to pee, to piss, to pass
water, to relieve oneself, to take a leak (though don't you think it really ought to be
"to leave a
leak")
© 2005 Applied Psychology
... and from Travel Fox:
Hotel group to
rate service stations - Flushing out fragrant violations of restroom
standards
A Reader responds
Let's assume you wash up before leaving your hotel room. Consider the
germs, dirt, cleaning product residues, and other contaminants you
probably picked up on your way out of the hotel, getting into and out of
the taxi, paying the driver with cash, taking your shoes off and putting
them back on at the security checkpoint, eating at the airport restaurant,
shaking hands with colleagues going off to other flights, and so on. (And
then consider the germs you pick up if you happen to rub your eyes, touch
your hair, blow your nose, scratch your arm or leg, etc. during this
time.)
Now you enter an airport restroom, where there's often no door to touch
and with urinals that automatically flush. You touch your clothing (pretty
clean) and one part of your body (pretty clean, assuming good hygiene).
(Plus note that urine is generally considered to be sterile.) And NOW
you're worried about what's on your hands? I'd suggest that most times,
your hands are not measurably dirtier when you leave the restroom, than
when you entered.
In fact, it would probably be better if men washed their hands when
ENTERING the restroom, so they don't expose a sensitive part of the body
to all the stuff they've picked up in getting there!
--
Peter R
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