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1 February 2003
Berrly flying
A part of
nude history
By Terry Riley
As
a part of a “nude week” package to Mexico, Castaways Travel is
organizing “the first ever nude airline flight.” Come this spring,
“taking-off” will have a whole ‘nother meaning for
 the 170 passengers on a
Cancun-bound, chartered 727. Soon after lift-off from Miami International,
these vacationers will not only be loosening their seat belts but just
about everything else they have wrapped around them as well.
According to the Woodlands, Texas travel
agency this flight will become “a permanent part of nude history.” Right off the bat, I can think of a dozen things I’d rather be than a permanent
part of nude history. But hey, that’s just me.
That being said, it occurs to me that
these same passengers could be missing out on an opportunity to become a part of an even
more illustrious history: The history of human
transportation.
Why will these pioneers
wait ‘til airborne to shed their T-shirts, Levi’s, and Joe Boxer’s?
Wouldn’t it behoove everyone involved to include, as part of nude history,
stripping down before passing through airport security? It sure
would make it easier for the screeners, faster for the nudists, and more
entertaining for airport bystanders.
“Nude only”
screening lines make a lot of sense. Think of them as a twist on the idea of a
“Trusted Traveler Program” that the airlines have been kicking around for
months now. An “Un-Trussed Traveler Program” could do for the
airlines what they haven't been able to accomplish for themselves: rejuvenate
air travel.
Just to make sure this isn’t some
harebrained idea I've come up with, I've checked the Transportation Security
Administration’s website of permitted and prohibited items and found that there is
no prohibition to bringing "nothing" through security.
Besides the obvious security benefits and entertainment value,
think about how much could be saved in time and money.
There will be no (additional) strip searches needed and the TSA can pack
up those capricious metal detectors that jam up passengers when their belt
buckles set off alarms.
Breaking the travel naked barrier may be
just what the airlines need to do to get back into business.
By the way, you won’t see my smiling face—or any other part of me for that
matter—in the naked line at the airport. I’m more modest than that. What's
more, I’m more considerate of other passengers than to have them get an
eyeful of me lollygagging around in the altogether.
I’ve been on the other side of this picture and it isn’t pretty. I’ve
wandered along nude beaches and even dined in the restaurant at Club
Orient, a clothing optional resort in St. Martin. (It was kind of like one
of those dreams where you’re naked and everyone else is clothed—except in
reverse.) But that’s another story.
Anyway, I can tell you that for most of the naked people I’ve seen at
“clothing optional” venues, removing their clothes is an option they
shouldn’t be allowed to exercise. The men look more like Mr. Potato Heads®
than Mr. Universes. And the women look more like they stepped off the
pages of Archaeology magazine than Victoria’s Secret catalog.
© 2003 Applied Psychology
Related Err Travel columns:
Strip club protocol - Behave like a gentleman in
a gentlemen's club
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